I woke up on November 5th and immediately checked the electoral vote totals. The numbers didn’t seem to be correct. I looked at my phone in disbelief and wondered, like many of us, How was this happening? — again?

I shuffled to the bathroom to put in my contact lenses. My 8-year-old daughter, the youngest of four, ran into my bathroom with wide brown eyes. “Mommy, do you know about the elections?” I nodded.

I’ll never forget what he said next. “How did he win if he never says anything nice?”

All I could say was, “I don’t know.” Because how do I tell my smart, beautiful, inclusive, energetic little black girl that millions of people voted against someone who looks like her and instead chose to vote for a man who thrives on lies, insults, attacks and division?

Parents know that young children tend to think in black and white. People are considered “good” or “bad,” “safe” or “insecure,” or, in this case, “nice” or “bad.” However, in this election, adults seemed to categorize the candidates the same way. In my opinion, voting for Trump was voting for racism, sexism, ableism, sexual and verbal assault, homophobia, death threats, and so much more.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve spent much of my time on social media (a decent number of followers across platforms) advocating for the election of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. As a Christian mother of four children Black and adopted childrenA two-time breast cancer survivor and facilitator of a large, local, and diverse adoption and foster care support group, I firmly believe Harris would be the best candidate to represent the inclusion, empathy, and progress our country needs desperately. .

My family embodies several factors that Trump and Vance not only oppose, but openly hate. We are multiracial. I did not give birth to my children. I am a less than ideal woman (no breasts, thanks to cancer) for a president-elect who openly and shamelessly ranks women based on their appearance. Several of us are disabled. We also depend on public schools to provide some of our children with the IEPs they need to access their education. We live in a liberal state, the first to prohibit the banning of books.

I have shared with my children the various clues throughout the campaign journey that demonstrate that Trump is nothing like the person our faith calls us to be. I have no intention of imposing my faith on anyone when I share this. Rather, I want to share why we were so opposed to a Trump/Vance presidency.

The Bible teaches Christians to love God and our neighbors as we love ourselves. Our neighbor is anyone other than us. The Bible also tells us to be “salt and light,” to care for “the least of these” (people in need), and to “seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.”

We did not choose to support Harris and Walz because we discovered that they were mascots of our faith. We choose them because our faith commands us to take and not take certain actions. Harris and Walz best reflect our spiritual values, as well as our family’s values ​​and existence.

I spent November 5th slipping between depression and dissociation, while still fulfilling all my mothering duties. The day continued as usual: a doctor’s appointment, volunteering at a child’s school, laundry, and after-school sports practices. My minivan traveled all over the city. I sipped my coffee, took the dog for a quick walk, and waited for my kids’ school buses. I saw some posts on social media saying that life will go on as usual, but I don’t believe it. Not for my family. Not for my children.

I am filled with a painful rage that cannot be expressed in words. When I think about what is at stake and how this affects the communities I am a part of, I feel devastated. IVF coverage and options, including for breast cancer survivors and infertile people. Education, especially for those living in liberal states and those with disabled children who rely on IEPs and 504s. Safety: for women, people of color, LGBTQIA people, veterans, the disabled, children, and the elderly.

The election of a privileged, deranged, deranged, cognitively impaired man-thug is incredibly dangerous for almost all Americans, and yet here we are. There is no justification.

The reality is that we not only feel rejected and invisible, but also violated and vulnerable. We were cautiously optimistic that America was willing to abandon hate, exclusion, and selective privilege and move toward unity, inclusion, and progress. “Liberty and justice” have once again been reserved for a select few, leaving most Americans with diminishing protections and freedoms that, at least for now, not only keep us safe but allow us to thrive.

Mickey Guyton, a Grammy-nominated black country music artist, has a song called “What are you going to tell him??” I implore you to listen to or read the lyrics (but keep your tissues handy). She eloquently expresses what many of us are feeling right now, especially when talking to our daughters.

I won’t end with a corny topic. I don’t have any answers. I am grieving, like many of you, and I feel a little lost, broken and afraid. I believe that in the coming days, this will give way to righteous anger… but more importantly, it will evolve into a new determination to keep fighting for what all people deserve, including the four most important people in my life.