Why ‘Monsters: The Story of Lyle and Erik Menendez’ Matters

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Monsters: The Story of Lyle and Erik Menendezcreated by ryan murphy and ian brennan, is the second season in the Sample anthology on Netflix – a retelling of the story of Erik (Cooper Koch) and Lyle Menendez (Nicholas Alexander Chavez), who murdered their parents José (Javier Bardem) and Kitty Menendez (Chloë Sevigny) in their Beverly Hills home in 1989.

The series chronicles the harrowing abuse Erik and Lyle were subjected to by their father, José, and mother, Kitty, leading up to the brutal murder, following their trials and eventual conviction in 1996.

Controversies, myths and blind spots of child abuse

Despite overwhelming evidence of the severe, prolonged abuse the Menendez brothers suffered, their suffering was deemed irrelevant, their trauma was ignored, and the perpetrators were acquitted.

Although the Menendez brothers were 18 and 21 years old at the time of the crime, their maturity, decision-making capacity and impulse control were likely much younger due to their history of abuse and trauma. Abused children often experience developmental delays and struggle to reach important milestones, leading to underdeveloped emotional capacities, cognitive processing, and even physical growth. When abuse occurs, sources of love become sources of fear, leaving the child with a deeply flawed sense of self and often falling into a vicious cycle of trauma.

Driven by a deep need for parental love and affection, children may cling to behavior that causes them pain, which is misinterpreted as tenderness or protectiveness. As a result, they may grow up accepting and tolerating abuse that others would recognize as unacceptable.

Critics have questioned why the brothers did not disclose the abuse sooner, which amounts to victim blaming and dismisses the profound impact of internalized shame that prevents many survivors from speaking out. Abuse is often a series of events that occur in isolation and in secret, leaving children at the mercy of their caregivers. Perpetrators often use grooming, emotional manipulation, coercion or threats to control their victims. In many cases, abused children are convinced that no one will come to their aid and learn not to fight their abusers, a phenomenon known as learned helplessness.

Research has shown that the closer the perpetrator is to the victim, the less likely the victim is to disclose the abuse. This also increases the likelihood that warning signs will be ignored, attempts at disclosure rejected, or reacted to negatively.

Children who are hurt by their caregivers may feel torn between trying to love their abusers and being afraid of them. Especially when praise and affection are intertwined with exploitation and abuse, children are more likely to feel overwhelmed by confusion, guilt and self-blame.

The series sheds light on an important blind spot surrounding abuse that occurs in wealthy families higher up the social food chain. Many family members testified to a host of warning signs, including: bedwetting, decreased affection, difficulty controlling emotions, poor concentration, precarious sexualized behavior, and discomfort with physical expressions of affection. At the time of the abuse, no one came forward to protect the children. This underlines the sad truth that abuse of status and power in families can be ignored because speaking out can be intimidating or simply unprofitable.

It is common for victims of abuse to repeat the cycle of abuse, make inaccurate judgments, and become attracted to people who will further exploit, betray, and victimize them. We see this in the series when Dr. Oziel violates the behavior of patients and doctors. Instead of following ethical behavior, standing up for his patients and taking appropriate measures to ensure their safety, Dr. Oziel’s brothers use the tragedy for his own financial gain.

The series approaches Lyle preoccupied with his hairpiece as he potentially faces the death penalty with ridicule, undermining the truth of abuse where victims are trained to work hard to maintain an outward appearance. It would make sense that Lyle would be concerned about his image, as maintaining the facade was a learned survival mechanism.

A recurring question in the series is whether the brothers are sociopaths who killed their parents for money or whether they are victims who killed their parents in self-defense. From a trauma perspective, this question is problematic because these two positions are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Children exposed to violence learn to shut down as a survival mechanism and may not develop the capacity for compassion or empathy.

If it was one of the brothers who committed such a heinous crime, there might be more room for alternative theories. Since the brothers acted in unison, it is likely that a heinous act to this extent arose from a series of horrible preceding events.

There is no denying that chronic child abuse can lead to horrific responses to danger. Ignoring and discrediting the impact of childhood torment, when the victim violently retaliates, only perpetuates harmful stereotypes, reinforces silence, and absolves perpetrators.

Stigmas faced by male survivors of sexual abuse

Data from the National Sexual Assault Hotline indicates that a majority of victims who reported prior abuse received negative responses. Portraying male survivors as aggressors or as accomplices to their abuse invalidates and retraumatizes survivors and ignores the complexities of male victimhood.

Research shows that male survivors of sexual abuse are more likely to experience shame, self-blame, and questioning of their sexual identity (Poirson et al., 2023). They are more likely to be reluctant to disclose their story or seek help due to fear of judgement, stigma and discrimination.

Research shows that only 8 percent of boys disclose the abuse within a year of the abuse (Lahtinen, Laitila, Korkman & Ellonen, 2018). Children are more likely to disclose it as it happens, and to other peers rather than to an adult. Lyle Menendez disclosed the abuse to his aunt as it occurred, while Erik confided in his younger cousin.

Trauma-informed systemic change

Sexual assault by men is seriously under-reported because victims fear that their sexual orientation will be questioned or that they will be seen as less of a man after disclosure. Many men do not come forward for fear of being labeled weak for being unable to fight off their predator. McElvaney’s 2013 review of disclosure studies found that a large number of adults who were victims of childhood sexual abuse had never disclosed their experiences.

Gender codes allow women to play the role of victim, making it more socially acceptable for women to name abuse and therefore more likely to disclose it. However, many abused men may not identify the acts of violence against themselves as abuse. To break the stigma and minimization of male sexual abuse, we must deconstruct traditional gender stereotypes.

A trauma-informed approach starts with believing survivors, but goes beyond simply acknowledging their experiences. It’s about creating a safe space where victims can share their stories without fear of prejudice or discrimination. To truly support survivors, systemic changes in mental health care and the justice system are necessary. This includes reviewing policies and regulations that abandon survivors and perpetuate the cycle of abuse and tolerate silence.

As a society, we must prioritize interventions that promote healing and prevention, rather than sensationalizing abuse, which only further exploits and victimizes survivors.

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