A perplexed man wonders if he is trespassing his girlfriend’s privacy.

The man, 30, took to the popular Reddit site. “Am I the A——“ forum to ask him if he should ask his 28-year-old girlfriend for permission every time someone comes “for a second” to the house They shopped together recently.

“One problem that keeps coming up is that my girlfriend keeps saying that I am allowing others to invade her privacy by inviting guests like family, friends, etc., to stop by my house for a brief moment even though I let her know in advance. . ”explained the man. “Usually they’re there just to pick up a tool I borrowed, give me an item real quick, and things like that.”

He continued, “Sometimes a friend calls me and says, ‘Hey, I’m in your area, do you mind if I come pick up the bike I left at your house?’ to which I reply: ‘Yes, of course there is no problem.’ “Then I will let my girlfriend know.”

He shared that his girlfriend “will be mad because I don’t ask her if she’s okay before I accept.”

“I understand planning an event, having guests for a longer period of time, a meeting, but someone coming just for a second?” he asked, noting that he doesn’t think he needs to ask for “permission” as long as he makes it clear who is coming and when they will arrive.

The man also admitted that he would feel “strange” telling potential guests that he needs to “check with my girlfriend” before even the briefest of visits, adding that “no one I know” does the same.

“Am I the idiot?” he asked his fellow Redditors.

One commenter needed more information before forming an opinion and asked, “Are these people coming to socialize? Or is it literally stopping by for a drink and then leaving? Is she expected to interact?

The original poster responded: “They’ll socialize for a minute because they’re already there, but half the time they don’t even come in. We’ll just chat on the patio or at the front door. If they need to use the bathroom or something, I’ll let them in, but I have a feeling my girlfriend hates visitors, regardless of whether I ask her about it or not.”

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Another person proclaimed that the boyfriend “isn’t the asshole.”

“You would see a difference between people passing and stopping for a significant period of time, but just to pick something up? It seems like she’s making a mountain out of a molehill, unless there’s a specific reason, like people come over when she’s ready for bed, or she’s sick or something. In which case, I’d say you better read the room,” the commenter wrote before offering a possible solution.

“But on the other hand, to keep the peace, I would do him the courtesy of saying, ‘Hey, is it okay if X shows up in a few minutes?’ instead of texting X first and notifying him,” they added. that 70 people voted in favor.

Yet another commenter shared that they relate to the man’s girlfriend in this scenario and also advocated for an engagement.

“As someone who really doesn’t like someone coming over unannounced, I understand where your girlfriend is coming from, but living together means you both have to compromise on this kind of thing,” they wrote. “That is, she needs to let the visit happen, but she needs to make sure it’s a visit and not a visit. Have a quick chat at the door and then send them on their way, without coming for coffee or beer.”