‘I’M NOT THE NEW FERGIE’ he screams on the last page. You’d think the English tabloids would know a joke when they saw one.

The curious case of photographs of women
He Daily TelegraphMike McGrath has written 967 words about the working relationship between new Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim and new Manchester City director of football Hugo Viana.

Of those 967 words, 74 refer to the fact that their wives run an interior design business together.

Not the first 74 words, not the last 74 words, but 74 words somewhere in between those 967.

Of course, the article is titled ‘The curious case of Rubén Amorim, Hugo Viana, their wives and the Manchester rivalry’ and is illustrated with an image of two beautiful women.

Which must make Mike McGrath feel very special. Thanks for all the words, Mike, but look at these women: PHWWWOOOOAAAAR.

That joke isn’t funny anymore.
Have covered the charade of Sky Sports man Gary Cotterill harassing a Portuguese coach into speaking English in Portugal elsewhere.; we absolutely knew that Ruben Amorim jokes about being seen as ‘the new Sir Alex Ferguson’ would dominate the back pages, despite Cotterill’s tantrum because he somehow disappointed Manchester United fans by talking about his Portuguese team in Portuguese.

Jeremy Cross made his money for the Reach empire by writing three final pages, although each opening paragraph was exactly the same: “Ruben Amorim fears Manchester United fans could label him the next Sir Alex Ferguson if he beats Pep Guardiola in the League.” Champions tonight.” .’

‘Fears’? The man was laughing. It was a joke. And Little Englanders can’t blame a bad translation because a laugh sounds exactly the same in Portuguese. As does a disdainful snort, which should at least mean that Cotterill has no doubts about his position.

He daily express went one step further and shouted on the last page: ‘I’M NOT THE NEW FERGIE.’

Wow. Even the Daily Mail, with a grim expression, realized it was a joke.

MORE ABOUT MAN UTD FROM F365
Man Utd must ‘get rid’ of four people who do not press as Mikel Arteta defended
Ruben Amorim takes Sporting lead for Man Utd as embarrassing Gary Cotterill deserves ‘indifference’
Man United sack Ten Hag and quickly drop first points from winning position all season

I was just joking, dear.
You know who else can spot a joke? He MirrorSamuel Meade, sports brand writer.

He noticed, with all his sports brand wisdom, that Rubén Amorim “has joked that Sporting Lisbon’s result against Manchester City will raise expectations or diminish enthusiasm before his arrival at Manchester United” and he also “joked saying that Manchester City are a ‘difficult club to improve’ when addressing their relationship with Hugo Viana’.

That’s too much of a joke; I should have dropped Jeremy Cross a line.

And yet, here are the two headlines of the two articles that begin detailing Amorim’s ‘jokes’:

‘Rubén Amorim explains what will change for him at Manchester United after the clash with Manchester City’

‘Rubén Amorim cannot hide his true feelings when comparing Man Utd with Man City’

Do words no longer mean anything? We’re just surprised he didn’t “break his silence” while “showing his true colors.”

If I had a hammer…
Away from Manchester United, talkSPORT have an exclusive:

‘Frank Lampard is a candidate for a surprising Premier League job amid the Chelsea legend’s links to Roma’

It’s quite a coup to get an exclusive from you talkSPORT The breakfast host, for whom he tips, is Jeff Stelling, who has no idea about the situation, but claims that West Ham would be “ideal” for Lampard, who has been out of work since winning one of 11 matches. as interim manager of Chelsea.

It is clear that Lampard would not be “ideal” for West Ham, which seems to be the more pertinent question, but our problem is not that Stelling talks nonsense (that is his job), but that his employers preach this nonsense while Lampard is in state of shock. “Premier League job” when it is literally the opinion of an uninformed man.

Still, job done because we clicked. So who are the real idiots here?

Edu du du
You will already know that Edu leaves Arsenal for high-flying Nottingham Forest. Arsenal are probably quite distraught, but the Express They are here to allay your fears because “depending on their final act in the transfer market, it could represent a blessing in disguise.”

Yes. Breath a big sigh of relief, Arsenal fans say Edu is out because… signing Raheem Sterling on loan hasn’t been a huge success.

And the relative lack of success definitely justifies this headline:

Edu’s latest Arsenal transfer call comes back to bite Gunners after brutal six-word verdict

Has it ‘bitten’ them? This is probably a relatively low-risk loan deal that hasn’t quite worked out. Not very sexy but true.

As for the ‘brutal six-word verdict’…we literally have no idea. There is no ‘brutal six-word verdict’ to be found in the entire article.

So we had to write our own: What a load of nonsense.

Headline of the day
‘Roy Keane makes his feelings clear about wearing poppy after Joey Barton criticized him’ – GB News.

And how did he ‘make his feelings clear about wearing poppy’?

Put this way, Mediawatch has made its opinion clear today on the use of cables.