We review Grumbles, a London restaurant that seems more like an institution

The capital is full of restaurants with the same look. They have emerald green and pink furniture and there’s probably a palm tree in the corner. Horrifyingly, some of these plants are plastic. Statistics show that half of these restaurants close within two years of opening.

Yet the foodies (I can’t stand that word, but that’s what they are) run around headlessly attending the opening parties of these new places, often ego projects run by men named Monty or Sebby, despite that its closure seems as inevitable as a Simmons on a street corner. All of these things are the opposite of Grumbles. Grumbles, which turns 60 this year, proudly opposes the new opening circuit.

Its owner Jeremy Friend, now 90, lives nearby and comes several times a week. Opened in the mid-1960s, Friend earned the venue the reputation of “London’s first restaurant with a silly name.”

A London restaurant that understands the need to be fun

I don’t want to harp on modern restaurants, but there’s not much nonsense about dining in the capital in 2024. It’s all about sustainability, or the seasons, or otherwise taking yourself terribly seriously. But dinner is not something very serious. It’s supposed to be fun. Eating is one of the only times of the day when we are guaranteed to experience pleasure, and since eating is essential, that pleasure feels very justified.

That’s why I like Grumbles. Grumbles understands this: it doesn’t think its wine bottles need to be stored at the bottom of an ocean collecting barnacles to be interesting, nor does it bore you to tears with messages about ethical sourcing (shouldn’t this be assumed by now?? ).Just serves good food in the kind of cozy atmosphere you want to come back to. And they certainly aren’t interested in pandering to the current zeitgeist in the kitchen or on their website. Hilariously dated material describes “glamorous waitresses, good times and amazing food,” which sounds like how Sean Connery liked the restaurants he was introduced to, but I love Grumbles for how much they don’t try to change with the times.

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Alex Turnbull, owner since 2011, is my glamorous waitress for the night. He knows how special the place is. I suspect that’s why he stays here so long. He tells me which Princess Diana’s favorite table was, one of many who came here out of discretion (not far from Parliament, Grumbles is also a hangout for politicians; they prefer to eat downstairs, where they can’t be heard), but to me I’m more interested in your story about the steak.

On the menu since the day Friend opened the doors (there are photos of him grimacing and making funny faces on the walls) it’s cooked with mustard on top and sealed with brown sugar. It’s delicious. Imagine a gastronomic Big Mac. If you think that’s not a compliment, you’re a snob. You get that sweetness, but instead of the grainy patty, a generous, singular piece of fine meat. It’s not the only dish that has been on the menu for centuries: fish pie is another classic that has been in fashion for decades.

The starters are equally good: the fried tiger prawn sauce with garlic, chilli, olive oil and parsley is dangerously tasty and the avocado with prawns and homemade María Rosa sauce is a homemade triumph.

All of these dishes come together on their anniversary menu, which offers three very reasonable courses and a glass of wine for £44.95. The restaurant was packed on the rainy Tuesday night when I visited; Three groups of local families were celebrating their birthdays. They were gathered by the cozy wood paneled walls, beneath portraits of former owners and touching family photographs of staff past and present.

It feels cozy like a hostel in the Alps, but located in the middle of Pimlico, perfectly away from anywhere that’s even vaguely close to a busy road. Tourists would never encounter this and neither would most Londoners. I suspect Friend is doing the promotion for fun more than anything else. In Grumbles, that’s the order of the day.

To reserve a table go to grumblesrestaurant.co.uk or call 020 7834 0149.

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