Dear Annie: I live in New York City and have had a solid group of friends over the last decade. We are all young gay professionals between 20 and 30 years old.

A few years ago, an acquaintance joined our circle. At first he was a good addition and we welcomed him with open arms. However, over time, I have noticed some concerning behaviors.

You have developed a habit of taking over social situations, often dismissing others’ stories or making negative comments about people you barely know. It feels like you’re trying to dominate conversations and overshadow long-standing friendships. More recently, I learned that he has been organizing vacations and social events without including me, often with people I introduced him to.

When I confronted him about this last summer, he dismissed it as a “miscommunication.” He expressed regret and assured me that he loves me and my family, but his actions don’t seem to align with his words. I’m not sure I want to continue building a friendship with him, but I’m also not sure how to deal with this situation within my close-knit group of friends. What do I have to do? — Left out in New York

Dear excluded: Normally, I would recommend direct and honest communication with this gentleman, sharing your feelings and trying to make things right. However, it seems that he already tried and was fired. Another conversation is more than likely to fall on deaf ears.

Focus on the other friends in your group where your efforts are appreciated and reciprocated. Don’t make a big deal out of this (there’s no need to hold a grudge or force a relationship between the two of you), but trust your instincts. It’s there for a reason.

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