Dear Abby: My husband spends the holidays with his ex and kids and leaves me alone

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 16 years. He has two children, ages 17 and 19. Every year he spends the major holidays with his ex and his children. I can’t go with him because his ex has ruined any chance of a relationship with his children. To be honest, they hate me and blame me for their parents’ divorce.

I have five children. During the holidays I make time for them, but I prioritize my husband. I don’t think he should do this. Am I wrong? He did it for 16 years. I mention it every year, and he always says next year will be different. Please tell me your thoughts. — I missed him then in WASHINGTON

DEAR MISSING: This year will be no different, and neither will the years to come. My question to you is: WERE you responsible for breaking up his marriage? According to the email I have received over the years, many marriages were long over before either spouse filed for divorce. If the “kids” are right, they won’t change their attitude at this late date. However, if you were blameless, their father should have straightened them out when they were old enough to understand.