Sakshi Malik’s ‘Witness’ is a powerful message to Indian women athletes: be yourself, be independent

Sakshi Malik made history on the wrestling mat: the first Indian female athlete to win an Olympic medal, and to this day the only Indian female wrestler to win an Olympic medal. She has also made headlines off the mat, taking over the very powerful system and, if not winning outright, at least forcing a changing of the guard. Yet her most impactful achievement, in a broader sense, may come via a most unexpected route: her memoir. For a self-confessed avoider of confrontation, she says this book was a great medium to share her thoughts with the world.

The underlying theme throughout most of *Witness – a refreshing, sometimes brutally honest book, rare for an Indian public figure – is her advocacy for everyday women’s issues, which are rarely talked about. From something as seemingly trivial as negative body image amid societal beauty standards, to the need for women (athletes and others) to be financially independent, Sakshi has written one of the boldest books – even the most “feminist” – by an Indian sportswoman .

It would have been easy for her to focus on the historic medal, her unique career and her continued leadership of the wrestling protests now. But because she repeatedly highlights women’s issues – especially in an astonishing chapter entitled ‘Body Talk (A Small Digression) – this book is one of the most important in Indian sports. This is essentially everyday feminism, not a technical definition, but the basic truth that genders are not given equal treatment, so women must first know their everyday rights and then fight for them.

Nothing is off limits when it comes to these issues, not even the most intimate details of her family life. One of her most important life lessons came after winning the Olympic medal. Her family refused to allow her to marry her long-time partner, fellow wrestler Satyawart Kadian, and had made extensive efforts to block this. However, she soon realized that their objection was partly financially motivated; an assumption that all her post-Olympic windfall would go to her marital home. Sakshi, whose banking affairs were handled by her family, later discovered that her accounts had been cleared of the post-Olympic rewards she had received.

In a lengthy conversation with ESPN, Sakshi confirmed her thinking. “They tell girls that they have to go to someone else’s house (husband) anyway. And when they get to someone else’s house, they are told that their house is that of the other person (parents). So our financial security, our understanding… we must have full knowledge of it, we must be independent.”

Forcing her to marry her partner was in itself – in the context of the extremely patriarchal society in which she lived – an act of courage. No one in her circle had married for love and she did not want to damage her family’s reputation by going against their wishes. Ultimately, she had to leak the news of her engagement to get her family’s approval, because appearances matter.

It is a touching love story, almost Bollywood cinematic in its obstacles. But it speaks to the prevailing mentality in most of the country, where a woman’s wealth and agency are not her own, even if she has won an Olympic medal.

She reveals the struggles and honestly describes what it means to be a woman from Haryana, who has to consider the social implications of simple actions like growing her hair, talking to boys or wearing sleeveless clothes. Sakshi candidly addresses her own naivete about these incidents, meaning it as an indictment of patriarchal society and a lesson for young Indian women from her background. She has spoken about the imperceptible challenges that come with being a career sportswoman in a way that no Indian athlete of her stature has ever done.

“I’ve gone all in on wrestling throughout my career and never really paid attention to things like where the money goes,” she told ESPN. “I had a clear focus: I want to wrestle. You probably also read in the book that I had no interest in other things like wandering around, parties, events… My focus was always on wrestling, competing in the Olympics and winning I just want to say that while this is a good thing – focusing on achieving your goal – you have to be aware of everything else too.”

She even revealed that most of her congratulatory appearances were masked with this family turmoil in the background. As she suited up in dresses, makeup and high heels, she was made to look polished in front of the camera. Any woman for the first time can confirm that this in itself is frightening. To do it as a woman who grew up in a wrestling academy of Haryana, there is an added layer of uncertainty.

Incidentally, the one person who pushed her to take charge of her finances early on was none other than Vinesh Phogat, who has been a fascinating character in Sakshi’s memories.

“I wanted to talk about all this. I don’t want other girls to experience what happened to me, what I went through after the Olympics, because first a girl, second a sport like this… a girl’s sports career is very short, so we have to manage everything in it.”

Of late, Sakshi has been in the news as one of the leaders of the wrestlers’ protests against former WFI president Brij Bhushan Sharan Singh, a former MP of the BJP. He has been accused of sexual harassment of female wrestlers and other administrative malpractice, and Sakshi has detailed the background and her role in the protests.

The most striking revelation is undoubtedly her unflinching description of the harassment she faced at the hands of Singh – a case that has finally been brought to court after months of protests. The fact that it had to be internalized was an additional obstacle in her career and she did not avoid any questions.

“If I raised my voice, he would never have let me reach this level. Me and everyone else kept quiet because we had no other option,” she says of the oft-asked “why now” question. (which in itself betrays the deep lack of understanding of gender dynamics she has shed light on)

“Jab paani sar se upar chala jaata hain (when the water rises above your head), there comes a time when you have to say something. We used to hear stories from our juniors and then we realized that now we have to raise our voice. Our juniors won’t do that because they will have the same fears as us. We are financially secure, there is power in our voices now, people will listen. The sexual harassment within the federation can be stopped (by them), so we have decided that if we do not raise our voice, no one will.”

The fight, which she admits is moving slowly, is still ongoing and she wants to bring it to an end.

She is even open to joining the government, something she previously did not want to do because it would undermine the purpose of the protests. She has the ability and education – something that gives her an edge because not many of her peers were well-rounded academics.

Her drive to improve the lives and careers of young women in the field, many of whom she trains at her father-in-law’s academy, goes beyond her desire to give back to the sport. With Sakshi, the advocacy goes deeper. Her description of body image issues, financial literacy, stereotyping of certain women’s grooming and covert sexual harassment applies to every field in India, not just sports. Almost all women have had to deal with this in one way or another.

Witnesssuch an aptly titled memoir, is Sakshi Malik’s message to Indian sportswomen (and men) about things they should know, but no one would tell them honestly.

*Witness, by Sakshi Malik with Jonathan Selvaraj, is published by Juggernaut Books