DEAR ABBY: I had a five-year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful. Although I am willing to forgive him and still have feelings for him, my children do not like this man and do not want me to reconnect with him. My children say that if I do it they no longer want to have a relationship with me.

His ultimatum doesn’t seem fair. I’m afraid of never falling in love again and I don’t want to be alone in the future. Should I respect my children’s wishes and give up a relationship with them, or should I seek outside guidance and advice to see if we can try to be a family, as we had originally planned? I really feel like he is the love of my life. Nobody is perfect. I’m willing to give it another chance, but I want my kids to accept it. I don’t know how or if they ever will. What do I have to do?

— LEANING TOWARDS IT IN TEXAS

DEAR LEANING: Fear is the absolute WORST reason for a couple to reunite. Your relationship didn’t work out because he’s a cheater. What makes you think this time would be different? There are worse things than being old and alone. There is no guarantee that you won’t meet someone and fall in love.

Your children don’t like this man for a reason. You ask if you should seek outside guidance and advice. I am the first person who has been asked this and I am totally in favor. Your doctor can refer you to someone qualified.

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DEAR ABBY: I have warm memories of Christmas as a child. I didn’t start to dislike him until I married my second husband. My parents grew old and we celebrated their last Christmas together. They died several years ago. After that, I really didn’t like the season and all the garbage that came with it. I’ve tried to like it for the last few years and did all the Christmas stuff. I sent cards, baked cookies, decorated, bought gifts, and even went to church.

Last Christmas Eve, I just “broke up.” I couldn’t take it anymore. I removed most of the decorations because I couldn’t look at them anymore. I’m not well and my boyfriend has been sick from time to time. He likes Christmas, so I’ll give some things back to him, not me. Why do I dislike Christmas so much? It’s a headache. Maybe you can help me understand my feelings.

— SCROOGE IN INDIANA

DEAR SCROOGE: Your change in attitude may have been caused by two things. The first would be that, in your mind, Christmas is linked to the loss of your parents and a chapter of your life that is now closed. The other could have been caused by the incessant hype and publicity surrounding Christmas that begins right after Halloween. It might be time to scale back and ask your boyfriend for help celebrating the MEANING of Christmas, instead of cheating. Helping someone, or a family, less fortunate comes to mind.