DEAR ABBY: I dated a colleague when I was 22, but I broke up because I couldn’t stand the fact that he was several inches shorter than me. I didn’t tell him why. I just said, “It’s me, not you.”

I am now 60 years old, have had a very successful career, never married, and see online that he became a distinguished researcher. In his online photo, he now looks like a sweet older man and I would give anything to reconnect with him. Would this be nonsense?

Was I too insensitive at 22 to understand that I probably hurt him? Do you think he would forgive me if I contacted him now? He lives far away, so an in-person meeting would be out of the question in the short term. Would an email be okay? He is in his early 70s and is not married. — STUPID THEN IN OHIO

DEAR ‘STUPID’: At 22 you were not insensitive; You were superficial. Look at this from that man’s perspective. What are you supposed to think when you receive an email 40 years after a colleague abandoned you saying, “It’s me, not you”? Remember, no matter how successful you are now, you are not taller. My advice is to leave him alone, find someone who you may be physically attracted to, who lives geographically closer, who appreciates the success you’ve had in your career, and who is open to a relationship.

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NOTE TO PARENTS OF LITTLE CHILDREN: If your little ones are going trick-or-treating tonight, make sure they are supervised to ensure their safety. Happy Halloween everyone! –LOVE, ABBY

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact our dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.