Dear Annie: My long-distance relationship is not satisfying. Is it time to break up?

Dear Annie: I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. While it’s been good for the most part, I feel like it’s time to call it quits. We video chat twice a week and text maybe twice a day, but that’s not enough for me anymore. I brought this up early in our relationship, but she told me it was the only time she could give. I understand she has a demanding job that requires her attention four days a week, but even on her days off she rarely texts me outside of our video chats. It wouldn’t be such a problem if our video chats lasted more than two hours, but they don’t, and I’m becoming increasingly frustrated.

I work too, but I would like it if we texted more often or at least had a third video chat every now and then. What frustrates me most is that even though we’ve been together for a year and a half, we still haven’t met in person. I told her from the beginning that if this relationship was real, we would have to meet within a year or we would consider breaking up. At first she agreed, but when I brought it up again last January and February it led to a big argument, and she didn’t speak to me for a week. We reconciled and I promised not to bring it up again until she was ready to talk about it. I kept my word, but it’s frustrating that we’ve been together for almost two years and she still hasn’t started a conversation about meeting up.

I feel like I’m spinning my wheels in this relationship. I don’t want to end it because I care about her a lot and I wonder if I’m exaggerating. But lately the thought of breaking up has been crossing my mind more often. She tells me she loves me, and I believe her, but our relationship doesn’t make me happy anymore. I don’t want to continue dating someone who I only see twice a week for an hour-long video call, or who hasn’t made plans to meet in person after almost two years.

When I asked her what stopped her from meeting, she never gave me a straight answer. I wonder if I’m being unreasonable or if my feelings are justified.

– Hater of long distance relationships

Dear Distance Hater: Of course you hate the long distance nature of this relationship. Your feelings are completely justified. A relationship where you cannot meet in person is not satisfying and you deserve more. It’s time to stop it and find someone who can truly be present in your life.

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected] .

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