Charles Bock remembers the ‘terrifying’ years of single fatherhood

Now 55, Bock says he wanted to “bring every paragraph to life” in his new book, partly because of the intensity of that period in his life and partly to “come to terms with that time.”

As he’s gotten older, he adds, he’s decided, “If I’m going to write about things, I want them to matter.” When I look at my life and look at my child, there is nothing bigger than trying to raise Lily myself.”

The mistakes he has made are over his head. “I realize how deeply scared I was,” he says. “Because of my child’s age, we watched things like ‘The Princess Bride,’ these great adventure stories where everything makes sense and has a purpose. I started thinking about the idea of ​​a little girl without a mother who wants to go to prom. A father doesn’t know if he can survive. This is a fairy tale. In my twisted, grungy way of making fairy tales.

Bock had conflicting feelings about becoming a father at all: ‘You don’t want to become your father; it feels like the end of some things” – and single parenting tends to magnify all those feelings. “You can love your child and not want to be with him or her 24/7.”

He says he involved Lily, now 15, in the book when it made sense, looking at photos together and probing their memories. And he relied on many trusted readers.

“This book went through a lot of drafts,” he says. “It’s amazing how much can be wrong in a draft of a short book!”

Ultimately, Bock says, “I think Lily is really proud of it. And I am constantly proud of Lily.”

Charles Bock will read on Tuesday, October 22 at 7 p.m Newtonville Books.