the company I want to work for employs a man who insults women on dating apps – ask a manager

A reader writes:

I have a difficult situation involving prior sexual harassment/creepy behavior by a potential future coworker at a job I am interviewing for.

A year ago I matched with a man on a dating app who works in my (very small) field. The conversation was pleasant, but we never met and eventually lost touch. Months later he added me on social media and sent me a message, essentially saying he was masturbating to my photos. I blocked him. I also belong to one of the “Are we dating the same guy?” Facebook groups in my town and he was posted there too for saying extremely vulgar and derogatory things to women on dating apps. At least six women shared similar interactions with him (with screenshot evidence). Since then he tried to follow me from another account, which I also blocked.

Through LinkedIn (we have mutual connections), I saw that he was going to work at a company that does a lot of innovative work in our field. I’ve always dreamed of eventually working there and a recruiter from that company just contacted me for an amazing role on the same team he works on. I don’t know what to do. The idea of ​​working with this disgusting man drives me so crazy. On the other hand, I hate letting this guy stop me from getting a job I really want.

Is there a way I can report him for harassment and send the screenshots anonymously to their ethics hotline before I even start? Or can I share this information with them if I decline the job? Is creepy behavior toward women outside of work even something companies can take action against? It all just feels unfair.

I’m so sorry. It’s not right that you hesitate to look for a job you want because a creep works there.

Most companies won’t act if an employee turns out to be a disgusting idiot on dating apps. I would argue that it should be, and your situation is a good example of this: it will affect who wants to work with them (and not just potential employees, but also potential customers) and it raises questions about his ability to interact with women. colleagues respectful and professional. Yet most companies won’t consider it their business unless it shows up at work somehow.

However, if you are offered the job and turn it down, you can certainly tell them why. They should be aware that hiring this bastard will drive away good candidates (and they should also wonder how he treats the women he works with).

You can also be honest with the recruiter whose company you would like to work for, but you and other women outside of work have been harassed by one of their employees, and ask how close the position they are recruiting for works. this guy.

Or, of course, you can go for the job, accept it if you want, and after you’ve worked there for a while, discreetly let other women know about the prank they’re working with.

I’m sorry there aren’t better solutions.