Dear Abby: Can I disrupt my child’s life and leave my unhappy marriage?

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for twelve years. Things went well at first. However, he has let me down many times by not helping with bills, stress, etc. He recently lost a job which has added to my stress because we now have a child.

I’ve been communicating with an old work friend who makes me feel like we would be great together. He is also married, but we are both unhappy in our marriages. He wants me to move out and be with him, but even though I can see us together, I’m not sure I want to move to where he lives. Although he has admitted that he is unhappy, he never says he wants a divorce. He just said he wants us to be together.

I’m torn, Abby. Should I stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of my child, or divorce and move away, hoping everything will work out? Please help me to calm my mind, heart and thoughts.

– Problems in Texas

Dear Troubled: From what you have written, it appears that although your “old work friend” may be unhappy in his marriage, he has no plans to divorce his wife, although he would like you to dump your husband and take the lives of you and uproots your child. and be geographically more convenient – ​​for him. If you follow this step-by-step plan, hoping that everything will work out without any guarantees about stability for you and your child, it could end in disaster. Please get your head out of the clouds and start thinking strategically and rationally. Right now you’re doing neither.

Dear Abby: I enjoy my work and have good pay and benefits. I am fortunate to work for a progressive, flexible company. However, the atmosphere in our office is very isolating. My boss is nice and supportive, but overall I don’t feel much support or kindness from my coworkers. Most of them are in their thirties and come from the upper middle class. I’m not, and I’m in my early sixties.

The people at my workplace are very cliquey. They do not invite me to their activities or interactions. When I make a comment, I am often ignored. I’ve tried my best to be friendly, but I’m not getting much of a response. I can look people in the eye and smile, but most won’t say hello until I do so first. This is very depressing. I need advice.

-Overlooked in Oregon

Best Overlooked: Since the reception you receive from your coworkers is unwelcome (to say the least), my first suggestion would be that you focus more on the positive aspects of your job (namely the salary and benefits ) and less on making friends. . Decide how many more years you want to work and wait until you plan to retire. My second is simply to look for work elsewhere if the isolation becomes too much, and explain the reason for leaving to your boss during your exit interview.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or POBox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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