How to tackle justice with children

Most of us don’t intend to raise spoiled brats… but sometimes entitlement creeps in, despite our best efforts. Letting go of bad behavior, not enforcing consequences, and throwing tantrums with material rewards – that’s how it starts. Yes, choose your battles, but remember: some battles have to be fought the hard way!

Try these small steps to help your child get excited:

Do some introspection

Could it be that you are overdoing it with attention or resources without realizing it? I know I’ve been guilty of that at times! Or maybe you and your partner work long hours, and it’s hard to say “NO” when your child asks for something.

Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves; perhaps ‘No’ should have been a complete sentence more often. And if your child is acting “spoiled,” it may just be his way of asking for attention and time for you.

Embrace minimalism at home

It’s never too late to adopt a minimalist attitude and buy only what is necessary, rather than giving in to whims. Children learn by watching, and chances are they will mirror your habits. Teaching them ‘less is more’ can unravel feelings of privilege and teach discipline at the same time. It’s also a great way to reduce clutter and help them differentiate between needs and wants. This one is a personal favorite!

Let them do household chores and reward them when they are done. | IMAGE: 123RF

Give them responsibilities

Assigning age-appropriate chores, such as making the bed, shining shoes, or folding laundry, can move children and counteract feelings of privilege. It teaches them the value of hard work and what goes on behind the scenes at home. If you use pocket money, reward them for completed tasks to teach the value of saving for things they want. Bonus: It also improves their math skills!

Spoil them with experiences, not things

Filling your time together with gifts can ease your guilt, but it’s a slippery slope. Your child may come to expect gifts instead of valuing time with you. Ditch the bribes and focus on experiences instead: plan a vacation, spend quality time and create memories. It’s not as simple as buying them something, but I promise you it’s more precious than any toy and worth so much more in the long run.

Set clear boundaries and expectations

We love our children, but it’s important to set clear boundaries and expectations so they know what is expected of them. Parents, stay strong and enforce these rules to free your child, especially at those times when it is easier to give in to a tantrum or let things slide “just this once.” Consistency is the key for your child to learn that bad behavior doesn’t get a free pass.

Make them face the consequences

Don’t shield your child from the consequences of his bad behavior. Apologizing, apologizing for it, or letting tantrums pass teaches them that there is nothing to criticize about them. Holding them accountable avoids entitlement and undermines your authority. Let them experience adversity and face the music – it is through these moments that build character.

Instill gratitude and a spirit of giving

This one is for the whole family. Teach your child gratitude by showing him how happy he is compared to others. Practicing delayed gratification, volunteering, and showing empathy for the less privileged are practical ways to help your child grow in gratitude and become more aware of their privilege.

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