Parents who use humor may have better relationships with children: ScienceAlert

When does an ordinary joke become a dad joke? Once it’s clear.

These kinds of hokey puns are a typical form of “dad joke,” a term inspired by the common paternal tendency toward corny jokes and cheesy puns.

But while dad jokes usually elicit groans and eye rolls, the funny attitude behind them can nevertheless help dads — and moms and parents/guardians in general — build better relationships with their kids, a new study shows.

The use of humor in parenting has so far been little scientifically explored, the study authors say, despite the pervasiveness of humor in human social life and a wealth of literature on the subject in other fields.

Given the findings from some of those previous studies, our lack of knowledge about humor in parenting seems like an oversight that needs to be corrected, the researchers say.

“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” says senior author Benjamin Levi, a pediatrician at Penn State College of Medicine.

“My father used humor and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children,” says Levi. “The question became: how do you use humor constructively?”

Previous research has looked at facets of humor and play in child development, as well as other contexts, the authors note, but the specific issue of humor’s role in parenting remains poorly understood.

Because of the inherent power dynamics between children and parents, humor can help families, just as research shows it can help businesses, says first author Lucy Emery, who was studying medicine at Penn State while working on the new study and is now a pediatrics resident . at Boston Children’s Hospital.

“There’s an interesting parallel between business and parenting, both of which are hierarchical,” says Emery.

“Although parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, many stressful situations arise during parenting,” she adds. “Humor can help diffuse that tension and hierarchy and help both parties feel better about a stressful situation.”

With little existing research to build on, Emery and her colleagues conducted a small pilot study to explore people’s views on the role of humor in parenting, including their experiences as a parent and their experiences as a parent.

This could be a starting point for future research, the authors say, to explore in more detail how and when parents can use humor constructively.

For the new study, the researchers created a 10-item survey to measure a person’s experiences and opinions about humor and parenting, and then used an online tool to find eligible participants.

Ultimately, they arrived at 312 respondents between the ages of 18 and 45, most of whom identified as male (63.6 percent) and white (76.6 percent).

More than half of all respondents said they were raised with humor as children, the survey found, and nearly 72 percent expressed belief in humor as an effective parenting technique.

Most reported using or planning to use humor with their own children, the researchers noted, and most said they believe humor helps rather than harms.

The survey responses also showed that there is a connection between parents’ use of humor and some relevant opinions expressed about it by their now adult children.

Participants who reported having a good relationship with their parents were 43 percent more likely to report that their parents had used humor in parenting, compared to those who denied having a good relationship with their parents.

These individuals were also almost 30 percent more likely to use humor or plan to use humor when raising their own children.

It makes sense that people with humorous upbringings would use similar tactics with their children, but the study authors didn’t expect such a dramatic difference between the two groups.

The study provides preliminary evidence that “Americans of childbearing/parenting age have positive views of humor as a parenting tool, and that such use of humor may be associated with several beneficial outcomes,” they write.

Future research, they add, should look at how parents use different types of humor, what that’s like for their children, and how that fits with our existing knowledge about the social role of humor.

“My hope is that people can learn to use humor as an effective parenting tool, not only to reduce tensions, but also to develop resilience and cognitive and emotional flexibility in themselves and model this for their children,” says Levi.

The research was published in PLOS One.